Deep transformation may be accompanied by some pain. The more we resist, the more our path needs to be corrected, and the bigger the pain. As we watch our automatic reaction to what surrounding people show us, we might understand what makes us angry, what makes us suffer, what makes us feel hurt. The people around us are mere “teachers” showing what we need to reflect, so getting angry at them will not solve the situation. Once we understand what triggers us, we can start solving the problem.
For example, if our mother was a manipulator or a control freak, we might become very insecure and anxious if we cannot control our surroundings and that is because we have been brought up in this kind of environment. In such case, we can have a hard time forgiving anyone who behaves selfishly (against what we subjectively feel is right). Those people may attract many of those “selfish” people and get angry at their overbearing behaviour. But looking from a higher perspective, we might be only tied up by what we feel is right, and our need to control. Once we realise that, their behaviour may not be a big deal.
Another example – if, as a baby we felt rejected by our mother (either the mother really rejected the baby or if, for instance, the mother loved the baby but was just very busy and the baby felt “I don’t know when I am going to be fed next” and stored the perception of rejection in his/her subconscious), we will try to prove the best we can that we are worthless and we will be rejected. We look at the world with glasses that are coloured with rejection so we might choose people who will make us feel rejected or circumstances where we will feel rejected. And we will say “see?!” however, we might be loved – more than we think – if we know how to really look around us.
What is happening this year should allow us to let go of whatever we do not need to be tied up with anymore (including stuff from this life or from past life) but in order to see what we need to let go of, we need to purify our mind in various ways so that when something happens, we can go beyond our initial reaction and see what we need to learn. If we are unable to do this, we will just feel pain, worry, anger, sadness, hurt.
Most of us are bound by our subjective “righteousness”, sometimes unconsciously. Before we say “no, I am not like that”, we really have to check if it is just a perception or if it is true. Because it can be fear, sadness or pain that is stored deep within ourselves, masking reality. We need some courage to face this, this is why we may feel pain to transform ourselves. But once we become aware and we are able to let go of unnecessary pain, we become much lighter and happier because we realise that bliss is within us. This full moon, and 2019, will teach us about this. Om Shanti.